by Kellie Lupe-Smith
Money stress? Feeling criticized? Dealing with kids or family? Regulations got you down? Sometimes it seems like nobody has your back. Maybe it’s time to learn to focus on outcomes instead of reacting to stress. Read on to learn how to be free of the hassle.
People are afraid right now. They are worrying about losing their jobs, their reputations or their homes. That fear changes them. Responses, decision-making and focus all completely shift. The fearful become more detail-oriented, nitpicky and desperate in their quest for security.
Just take a glance at society and you’ll see fearful people becoming narrower and more fixated. They demand assurances that simply don’t exist. It’s like they are digging for answers in the dirt, hoping for an artifact of security. Of course, all they find is more dirt. Funny, it never occurs to them to actually put the shovel down and look elsewhere.
The mind leaves the person reacting to the stressor instead of the goal. It is truly all they know how to do under that pressure. When we are in a reactionary frame of mind, we imprison our nervous system. It gets trapped into either fight, flight or freeze. None of these are useful places to be, and no logical solution can come out of it.
Luckily, there are people who are surviving and even thriving right now! So what are they doing right? First, they are choosing a broader view. They are pausing, backing up and seeing how things will look over the course of time. In neurolinguistic programming (NLP), this is what we call “the structure of genius.” They are able to see more than what is right in front of them. This gives them a sense of calm and security. They are able to decide what they want and stay focused on it.
The thriving people are able to emotionally connect to what they want. They can see the end result of the smiles on the faces of their family. They hear the laughter and joy when everyone feels connected. They picture their reflection in the mirror as fit, strong and healthy. The flexible person can imagine the feeling of accomplishment, pride and confidence. Then, most importantly, they take action toward that outcome. They do it even if it looks or feels out of place right now.
What about you? Where do you want to be one year from now? How about five or 10 years from now? Do you want to see the smiles on the faces of your family? Do you want to hear laughter and joy in your home? Do you want to be proud of the way you look and feel? What would happen if you were able to stop focusing on the problems you’re facing? What if you paused, backed up and saw the bigger picture?
No one wakes up in the morning and says, “I want to be foggy-headed,” “I think I’ll put pressure on my heart muscle today” or “I’d like to overthink so much I can’t sleep.” If you’re not deciding what you do want, you’re letting the decision be made for you. Decide what you want. Ask yourself what you want for yourself and your family. Do you want to live a long, healthy life? Do you want to sleep better? Do you want to eat better? Do you want less stress?
Thriving people are able to emotionally connect to what they want. Then, most importantly, they take action toward that outcome.
Next, you’ll need the skill of choosing your mood. Not just any mood — the mood that gets you what you want. Most people believe their mood is a result of their circumstances. If you are reading this, chances are you are in law enforcement. You have gone through rigorous physical and mental training. You have to set your feelings aside on a regular basis to bravely serve the community. So you know taking action is powerful. This skill can be applied in a new way by choosing the mood that reaches your outcome. Instead of setting your emotions aside, you can actually choose the mood that gets you what you really want.
To begin the adventure of eliminating your stress, here are seven easy steps adapted from our hypnosis program.
- Know what you want. Do you want a great romantic relationship? Do you want to be a great parent? Maybe you want to excel at your job or get a new position? Would you like to be fabulously healthy, fit and attractive?
- Make the decision to have it, do it or be it. You could say, “Well, that would be nice.” Or you can make a solid decision to get there. Create the solid feeling of a single-minded decision.
- See, hear and feel what you want. Would you see smiles and hear laughter? Would you see yourself active, drinking lots of water and eating healthily? Would you see yourself with money in your savings account or perhaps making a purchase for your future? Would you feel calm, confident and self-accepting?
- Make a plan. Write down the actions needed to be the person you want to be. Then write the moods and attitudes you need to get there. Choose that mood each day. No one is perfect at this, but it is truly one of the skills needed for success.
- Take action to make the plan happen. Any great accomplishment requires a vision, a plan, and lots and lots of action!
- Reward yourself. Acknowledge your accomplishments along the way. Celebrate your little wins, and big ones too. Make it big enough that your unconscious mind knows it is worth it to keep going. Do not punish your way to success; reward your way to it.
- Check your progress and alter the plan as needed. At times you will need to step back, see the bigger picture and adjust your game plan. Make any adjustments along the way to make the journey easier and enjoyable. Remember that life is all about learning, not perfecting anything. We learn and do and learn some more. Forget the idea of failure and replace it with the concept of learning and growing.
So you see, there is a real structure to achieving what you want. The basics have been laid out for you, and now it is up to you. You may know the saying “Faith without works is dead.” It means our actions are everything. You can take it one step at a time to a better, calmer, more peaceful you.
Discover more about how to feel better and get more out of life by learning the techniques f rom neurolinguistic programming (NLP) and self-hypnosis. In order to determine if hypnosis and NLP is right for you, a free remote screening is available to you from anywhere in the world. Email me at Kellie@ BurbankHypnosis.com.
Kellie Lupe-Smith, CHt, is a certified consulting hypnotist. She is a Master Hypnotist Society trainer, mentor and speaker and owns two hypnosis clinics in Los Angeles.